Wednesday, 13 May 2015


As this week is Mental Health Awareness Week, I thought I would something a bit different on my blog and talk about my own personal issues with anxiety.
Since I was a child I wouldn't go anywhere or do anything alone, even go and look at another rail of clothes whilst someone stood a metre away from me. If I was left in at a play group on holiday, I would cry and throw tantrums. 
As I got older and had moved twice, I stopped going to school and started getting chest pains even thinking about it in the morning. I had lost contact with all my friends as I wouldn't go out or get the bus alone to meet them. I got very nervous in social situations, especially in groups or when I'm surrounded by people for example going to the cinema, I usually have to wait a week or two from when a film is first released so the screen isn't too full. I was also constantly worrying about something embarrassing happening if I was found in these situations, even though it probably never would.

I had no idea what was going on until I did searching online and my symptoms matched those with Social Anxiety and I was pretty confident in that's what I was experiencing. 

My family kept telling me to make an appointment but I was telling myself that I was okay, I could make myself better so I never did. I think that might be the fact that I like to do things myself and don't like people getting involved.
It was until I broke down when I had to go off in a group alone that I decided it was time to see a GP as it had started affecting everything in my life from making friends to going on training days and meetings at work to which I actually quit my job so I wouldn't ever have to go.

After finally building up the courage, I went to see a doctor I was told to make another appointment which kind of threw me off track and I didn't make one. Then 2 weeks ago I was called for Jury Duty and a surge of panic came over me and I knew I had to do something about it so again I made an appointment.

This time I really felt I was getting somewhere. The doctor I saw this time was lovely, she asked me  some questions and gave me a questionnaire to fill out. It can be hard trying to explain how you feel to your family as they don't really understand unless they are experiencing it but I felt this doctor did.

I actually had my second appointment this morning and can finally and hopefully start to overcome what I've been living with for a long time. If you are also living with anxiety or depression, just know that you are definitely not alone as I found out more people suffered with this type of anxiety than I thought. It is also okay to do things in your own time and every step you take is moving forward.

PE xo


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